Being the one

By being the one to ask, the fault is on me.... But I need this... I hoped that you don't hate me too much because of it.... I shouldn't have been so harsh on you when I said it, I am so sorry. I wanted us to part without a fight and maybe still be friends in the future.... but I guess I was wrong to think so. I will treasure the memories that you gave me. Thank you for standing by me when I was intolerable and loved me even when I abandoned you. Sorry for having to do this to you. For now, I only feel thankful and sorry when I think about you, no longer the passion that was once there. Sorry for being the one to break your heart.

不想

不想再拖着你了.... 要不是再回到这边我也不会做出这个决定.... 原来我已经拖了你这么久了...
I never knew what I wanted, whatever I did before were normally half-decided by other people. Being so easily influenced by people, I tried so hard not to listen to them and decide what was best for myself. Yet all my answers came back with a question mark or an 'I don't know'. Because of this you had to suffer with me. Because I couldn't decide. But looking back at myself for the past 1 year, I saw that I never changed much, though I hold you dearly in my heart, I love myself more. I couldn't give up what I have for you when you did that for me. I am so sorry that I couldn't do that, I am sorry that I am not mature enough to love you, I am sorry that I used up so much of your time and leaving you feeling so sad. I am sorry for everything and I thank you for everything. I sincerely hoped that you will have a bright future and a better life in front of you. I love you.

Back

Hey guys... I am back from a very long break from 'blogging'... I never thought of updating this place anymore but apparently looking back at this makes me think that I actually wrote quite a lot of stuff that I forgot about.... A year has passed since I last blog and I am still here.... not really jobless... but still without an aim in life.... Why is that??? I have been asking myself the same questions for so long and yet I still don't have a satisfying answer... Maybe I will never know what I want for the rest of my life.... maybe it might come to me the next minute... I really don't know.... the only thing I know is that I need to change myself.... I need to grow up... even though it's just a little...
So.. I made up my mind to start from the outside.... meaning my appearance....
1. Lose weight.... not for the sake of looking good (though it's a merit) but for the sake of being more healthy and fit...
2. Cut my hair short.... Just because it's easier to dry when it's short... and it's not that hot with short hair.... and that I can donate it to someone who needs it more (look up www.locksoflove.org if u wanna know more...)

Then... Change from the inside....
1. Feel good about my self.... Something that I lack is Confidence.... With that I can do anything.... It comes when a person accepts themselves and think positively about themselves....
2. Positive thinking.... Reduce Negativity..... by doing that I can feel happier and more content about what I have and thus live more happily!!!!

Well.... Hopefully I will be able to do these points that I set for myself in the near future....


P/S: Thanks Tham... I needed the talk and now the blog.... hehe... Love u....