Smile

It kind of dawn on me that I actually do this quite often.... since people actually notice it.... I smile or laugh to myself while doing my work... Okay, it sounds weird when you don't know me... While doing anything, my mind don't only think about the thing I am doing, it also links it with anything that I have encountered in the past or it just wanders off somewhere and bring up some other thoughts for me to think about.... Normally I think about things that are somewhat funny in my own sense and I smile slightly.... okay, not slightly, but for a period of time which I think is short but I don't really have an idea how long (Long enough for people to notice that I am smiling)... Sometimes, I myself too feel that it is weird, but I enjoy this short session with my brain which brings things up that can make me smile.... It makes me happy and weird (when seen by others) at the same time.... But, who cares, as long as I am happy with the little joy it brings me....
If your mind brings up some happy and enjoyable thoughts to you, just smile, it is these thoughts that might keep you happy and going for the whole day....

Thoughts

Been thinking a lot lately, about something or another, nothing that really makes much sense actually. Don't really understand why my mind does this all the time. It keeps putting different thoughts in my mind and made me think it over and over again. Sometimes I just want to empty my brain, drain out all the thoughts that keep bugging me. I especially hate it when the thoughts contradict themselves. It's as if my brain just keep digging up old thoughts that I have already put away and tell me that it shouldn't be this way. It makes me doubt all the choices I made in the past and all those that I am about to make in the future. Why can't it just rest for a while? Or maybe it's not just the brain that is doing this to me but also my emotions that are ever-changing that is bringing up thoughts after thoughts that I don't want to think about. I really don't understand myself sometimes.

Another thought that occur to me is that why people still cling on to something when there isn't much hope of getting it. For example, you already know that you won't be able to capture the attention of the person you are in love with no matter what, why do you still hope that the person will turn and look at you and then fall for you? If you already know that you don't have a future in this career path or with this person, why do you still follow it? For me, I think of things more practically at first, but in the end my emotions will take over and I become torn between 2 and unable to choose, causing me to be stuck in the middle (I knew that the chances of myself achieving what I hope for is slight but I still cling onto the hope that I will be able to get there). I guess is just that for every human, even if there is just a slight hope of getting what they first deemed is impossible, they still want to believe that they are the ones who can make the impossible possible. If there isn't any hope at all, the world will be plunged into a darkness full of desperation and despair. So, hold on to the little hope that you have in anything as that is the only thing that keeps you moving and living.

Too early or too late.....

Heard this from a friend of mine yesterday while having a 'candleneedle' lunch.... hehe....

'There isn't a time which is too early or too late for you to find true love, and there isn't any right or wrong in it, just always remember the happy moments that you had and feel blessed that you had it.'

Hearing this got me thinking slightly. There are so many people in this world who criticize others about getting married too young or too old. But, what is really the ideal time or age to find true love? I don't think there is any, as long as the both of them are in love with each other and are ready to commit to each other, any time is the right time to be together. The same applies to parting with one another. When it ends, just let it go and let it end, the only important thing is that the both of you were true to each others feeling when it started. When you remember about each other in the future, remember about the happiness that you had and not the sadness that you part.

Outing

Went out with me buddies again... haha.... it's quite expected that my mum doesn't ask who I go out with anymore as I only go out with the same bunch of friends weekly... If I don't, I will tell her even before she ask anyway....
Today was a short trip to Taylor's Lakeside campus for short lunch plus tour of the uni... The trip was planned due to Eugene saying 'Chatime', a shop selling bubble tea and other specialty drinks, is opened there... and Backofen, an Austrian-based shop selling cakes and mostly western food, as well... So, we went there, 8 of us (Me, CJ, KY, BY, Gan, Kai, Ken and Tham) to have lunch at Backofen and then drinks at Chatime.... Lunch was decent and the people were friendly, all the guys ordered from the set lunch menu since choosing from the main menu prove too much a hassle for them, while the girls chose some special stuff (omelette, bratwurst and beef spaghetti)
Off to Chatime then... only me and CJ got drinks the rest were too busy talking...

Taylor's UNI was having their open day that day and it looks quite happening since there is also a concert tonight at seven... The high-end style and happening-ness of the place makes me think of going back to Uni.... If only I could decide on what course to take....
We had a tour of the place, their classrooms were all locked but the rooms containing more expensive and important stuff, mainly the computer labs and other laboratories (physics, chemistry, pharmaceutical...) were all opened... so we went in and touched almost everything we can get our hands on.... (There were CCTVs in all the room recording whatever we are doing, but who cares..)
Though we just spend a little more than an hour walking round the uni... I enjoyed it... It reminds me of myself before worklife started... and I kind of regret the lack of involvement in social activities during my college and Uni life... but since I can't turn back time, I will just have to create better memories of my life from now on so that I won't regret it in the future...

these few days....

Met with me uni mates on Sunday... mainly Karen, OC and Shan.... had a great chat over lunch and they did gave me a little surprise late b'day celebration.... they gave me a pink handbag... which really look too lady-like for me.... but i will still use it once in a while... had some cake ( not really cake... more like jelly with fruits).. and loads of chitchat... went for badminton after that...

Colleagues gave me a present as well... a short denim skirt and a hat....
These two pressies got me thinking whether I have been too boyish or less girlish since all of them thought of getting things that make me look more like a girl.... well... I agree that i haven't been the dressing up for occasions... so i guess there are reasons for them to do this....

Work is kinda bad these days... mainly due to the product I am handling right now... the extraction method is already a pain in the ass.. the results gives me a headache and now the bacteria is not growing which leads to no results at all, meaning I need to repeat the process of extraction which will one day lead to me having lean biceps and triceps.... Literally did nothing these days since the product keep failing.... how I hate my unproductiveness.....

well... off to dinner with me colleagues.... one of them is having her birthday today... so... dinner will be good... I guess....

Heaven and Hell

I know this is quite late, but I was being lazy and busy lately.. Okie… neway… let me tell you what happened since the 16^th of June till now…

16^th June…

Work till 5.30 then went out with colleagues, mainly those staying in the hostel to Neway karaoke for farewell dinner and K session for Emily who’s leaving for Penang to further her studies. Had quite a lot of fun singing though the gang was kind of quiet and did not really bring in the ‘high’mood. Left for home early that night as I was leaving for Singapore the next day at 8am with some of the Cina gang.

!7^th June

Met up with Tham and KY at the station alongside Ken and LP. Woohoo… after a long-planned trip, we are finally going to Singapore to meet with CJ and BW. I was looking forward to it since the buying of the bus tickets… Reached Sg around 2pm and ate Chicken rice (2^nd Best in Sg) at Novena where CJ works… She came over for lunch with us and even treat us to lunch…. Ah… our CJ finally grow up liao, can pay for our lunch with her hard earn money liao…. Then had Chatime bubble tea without Bubble since they were out of it…. Next stop was Little India, where our hostel (Footprints) are, while CJ went back to work till 5pm. This is where the fun part starts, we actually don’t know which bus stop to get on the bus that was supposed to take us straight to little India… after some asking around (mainly towards bus drivers which we pushed Ken to ask) and loads of walking, we finally hop on to the correct bus and got down the correct station… but, we walked the opposite direction further from our destination. Had to call the hostel personnel for directions and then finally found our way into the cozy room that we booked. Ken was complaining bout the walk underneath the blazing sun and thought that we can chill in our room before dinner, but luck was not by his side since the hostel’s policy states that air-cond can only be turned on at 7pm till 9am…. It was 4.30pm at that time…. and there was no fan in the room…. Well… life doesn’t really go our way… Then we left for Orchard Road since KY said that there was this heavenly fried chicken sold there… It was indeed heavenly… highly recommend ‘4 fingers’ food store for Chicken wings though the spicy one is really really spicy. Then we went for Coldstones for heavenly ice cream as dessert…. Highly recommend it as desserts, though the portion is big enough for sharing and is quite sweet as well…..then we went to Marina Bay sands where we missed the laser show but took loads of pictures that were indeed beautiful but also some that I am not really proud of.. Hope Tham uploads it on FB soon so I can see what kind of stupid act I did again….

18^th June

Woke up and went out to Vivo city for the day…. Was there for the whole day (which I have no idea at all how we did) Intended to take the cable car to Sentosa Island as we thought it would be quite the experience and shouldn’t be too expensive. Turns out, it cost 26Sgdollars for a 2-way trip or 24Sgdollars one way…. Since we are kind of poor… we opted out and instead walked. It wasn’t far and cost only 1Sg for entry instead of the 3 for train or bus… so if you have time, I do recommend walking and burning the extra fat… In Sentosa…. I did took a series of photo that I am not really proud of as well (I always do this and then regret bout it when the photos are being posted)… the rest of the day was spend talking while eating in some shop or in the pool on the top floor of vivo city… KY left us for her sis in the middle of the day, taking the hostel key with her… so we couldn’t go home even if we wanted to…. So, we headed back after dinner and met her there…. after cleaning ourselves up, we thought of playing some games before sleeping and thus started a series of laughter which hopefully without blogging about it here, I would still remember even a few decades…. (slight hint for myself: includes dancing, tickling, repeating ‘go into the laboratory and pushing the emergency button’…) hehehe…. The videos are posted in our secret group anyway…hehehe….

19^th June 11

Left for homr at 11am…. Had Mos burger before we left…. Regretted not having a deep heart to heart session the night before but still enjoyed the fun we had. Love the fact that we talk about all the random stuff when we are together, do all the funny stuff and laugh the whole day bout nothing and anything….. No matter how far and long we part, we are still the best of friends that will talk about just anything and be there for each other when any of us need it… Love you guys…. Oh ya…. Just for memory sake… BW did not bath for 1 and a half days….. hehehe… and Love the north mushroom and Thai version of the lab-emergency button saying… hehehe…..

It was Fathers day, so my family went out for steamboat at Puchong…. Was having a fever at that time…. but had fun too…

20^th June 11

Was still having a slight fever in the morning but still went to work…. Apparently I was really sick since I was trembling even when there wasn’t any fan or air-cond…. Went to the doctor after work…. Being suspected of denggi… and was given MC to stay home and rest and take paracetamol…..

21^st June 11

Stayed home and took paracetamol every 4 hours…. Spend the whole day in front of the TV….. went out for Jap food (Hokaido gardens) with dads’ colleagues… had an early b’day celebration….

22^nd June

Me B’day… but woke up with a 38.6 degrees fever…. Went to the doc again… did a blood test…. stayed at home and slept and tv again…. Mum and dad were out at Muka…. Sis dumped me since I was sick and had to stay home…. Younger brother even asked me to bring him out for pasta… bought bak kut teh for him while I was out to get my blood test results…. Borderline Low platelet count…. Most probably denggi… but had to do another blood test tomorrow to confirm…. Went out with the Cina gang…. KY, Ken, LP, Tham, BY and Gan to Secret Recipe for some cake as a B’day celebration for me and Ken…. (the best thing that happened that day)…

23^rd June

Woke up feeling healthy… went to work… then blood test…. platelet count increasing…. Getting much healthier… It’s heaven again….

Just 1 week and I experienced heaven and hell…. But as long as there is my bunch of friends and my family by my side, Hell would be gone within minutes and heaven will be just within grasps….. Love all of you guys….

Talk too much

I totally hate it when people talk too much.... I mean... I get the point, u don't really have to repeat and repeat and repeat the same thing over and over and over again.... It makes me wanna shaft a cloth in your mouth to ask u to shut up..... Since u keep doing this, I will jut have to apply something that I have trying to put into use but failed so many times before..... turning a deaf ear..... It was never really what I could do... I kind of listen to whatever people say and feel the emotions running in me due to the words uttered by the mouth.... and in the end when I can't stand it.... badaboom... I react in a nasty way.... Though today i did just kept my mouth shut.... so it means that I can control my emotions better than I used to be able to.... which should be a good thing.... but, i did rant some of my anger out at the machine I used after meeting with u... 'Mr. I can't stop talking crap that you don't want to listen to'....
I know that I myself talk too much too sometimes without thinking of the consequences of uttering each word I said.... but this is me.... I don't really think twice when I say anything, I know that I hurt you when I do that, but i did say sorry after that..... I hope u all don't mind.....

In need of upgrading myself in these 2 fields....
Mainly.... Not being so emotional when people say things that I don't want to hear, just turn a deaf ear and close one eye and ignore them..... And, not saying things without thinking over the consequences of saying it.... especially when it is supposed to be a secret....