Acceptance

Acceptance is something that we all have to learn in some parts of our lives. If you cannot accept, you can only change that has been accepted by others or be like the rest and embrace the acceptance. I accepted the fact that we have to compete with each other and work together at the same time and that sometimes you might not be able to tell me the whole truth. But, I will still get pissed sometimes because of that. My colleague from production has been complaining about his boss the whole week now. I think it's time for him to accept that his boss actually don't care how he felt as long as he gets what he wants. I agree that his boss is a pain in the ass that doesnt listen to other people and says things that hurt. But, if you can't change him, change yourself or accept that he is a bastard and continue working with him. Accepting ones fault is much harder than you thing, especially accepting ones own fault. I hope I learn how to accept things are most of the time until I learn how to change it to my best advantage. Note to self: if you don't know whether you are wrong or right, just wait longer, you did learn the answer soon. Current thought: Stop thinking about that stupid incident no matter how bad or good it is at the same time.

Don't understand

Some people just don't understand you. They just need you to tell them straight to their face that they are the problem. Their every movement, speech and even thoughts are so damn annoying that it make no sense for u not to fume up. You just don't think that you are the problem, don't you? You think that you are so great at manipulating everything that people actually don't see it? We just ignore it and accept your good side, you idiot. But don't overstep the border, you did be looking for trouble. You can continue smiling in front of everyone and pretending to be friendly, but know that whenever I smile to you, it is with the same reasoning behind your smile, that is just to look good in front of everyone else. Best regards to you, Mr. Hypocrite.

Another emotional unstable day..

Working till 12.15am is really going to take a toll on me. Especially when I won't be sleeping early the following night as well as I promise movie night with the 2 girls. I am reverting to my old self once again. And I don't like it. Guess some things don't really change that easily. I did like to tell someone that I am sick of him but don't have the guts to. Coward. I did say I am kind of a coward but it also means that I think twice before I boldly tell someone off and suffer the consequences later. Why do I feel sick of him? Because he doesn't cooperate with me at work. What does he mean when he answer all my question with 'nothing', 'don't know', 'not sure' and 'it's hard to explain' when he blardy knows everything. He can even pretend that i am not there when he blardy hell knows that I am angry because he is withholding information from me. Office politics is a sucker. I just don't understand why. I can take not knowing if I am not involved in it, but I can't take it if I am and you don't want me to know anything. Especially when we are frinds. This Got me all down and moody today that anyone can see that I am not in a good mood. Sigh, when will I learn how to keep my emotions to myself? From now on, If I did like someone to feel bad, I did backstab them than to show them my feelings since they totally have no regard for it. Time to sleep. Hope I learn from my mistakes.

有时候

有时候你可以完全不理会我， 有时候却对我宽怀不少。 我不知道该怎么样才好。 真的那么潇洒吗？ 如果可以我也不许再挣扎。

Addiction

Addiction to something means you are not able to leave that something out of your life as you think it makes your life easier. However, addiction allows us to have too much of something that we most probably don't need and might even damage us is some form that the addict don't know. Alcoholics don't think that they have a problem. They always think that it is their last drink but they end up drinking again and the viscious cycle of waking up sober in the morning and getting drunk at night starts again. It's knowing that you have this addiction that can allow you to conquer it and hopefully remove it from your life. Everyone has an addiction that they don't want to admit and hold on to it so dearly that it suffocates them at some point. Mine is an addiction that brought me a lot of embarrassment and sadness. Though I know it will eventually result in a problem, I still don't want to admit to having this addiction nor do I want to remove it from my life. Maybe, just maybe, eventually I will be able to remove it or conquer it. But till then, I did stay an addict for as long as I can. Note to self: 'Mr. Bear, stop being my addiction, because I want to change and I want a better life for myself.'

Song

Was out yesterday with a friend, the live band starts singing songs that I haven't heard in a while. When the song starts playing, I remembered the memories I had. It is great to know and remember that we shared something in common eventhough it was just for a while or just as long as a song. A song can touch you and can be just a tune, depending on how you perceive it. I am glad that I still remember the songs I have in common with my friends and love ones so that whenever the song plays, I am reminded that I am loved and I have people whom I love. To the my friend who went out with me, I am glad they sang the song which we chose (you chose). I can now remember a tune which we share and thus sometimes remember your presence in my life whenever I hear the song. Parting will be hard, but when we meet again, we can sing this song together again and laugh about the stupid things that we talk about.海阔天空by Beyond

Decisions

Was slightly tipsy yesterday and tired at the same time when I wanted to write this. So when I wake up in the morning seeing only the title in the post and a few words in the content, I knew I fell asleep without relating my thoughts. So here it is. The decisions we make now may or may not be of importance to us now but it might have an impact to us in the future. Choosing the right choice is never going to happen as a right choice now may turn out to be a bad choice in the future. And, alternately, a bad choice now may turn out to be not as bad as it seems down the road. I made a a lot of choices up till now, some with the influence of others and some without. Sometimes, I will sit there for a day regretting the choices I made and the actions I had done. But in the end, I just have to accept that my past decisions are not changeable and those decisions are what mold me into the person I am now. If I don't like the me now, it's time to make a decision to change. Everyone will in their lifetime regret in many a decisions they have made, it is only humanly to actually do it. If u never ever regretted on any decision you made, you are just lying to yourself. Make a decision wisely, it can change you forever. We will never now how the future turns out, maybe I will regret ever writing this here. But I did love to sit down and regret about it in the future so I can make wiser decisions in the future future.