Monday, 11 April 2011
不想
I never knew what I wanted, whatever I did before were normally half-decided by other people. Being so easily influenced by people, I tried so hard not to listen to them and decide what was best for myself. Yet all my answers came back with a question mark or an 'I don't know'. Because of this you had to suffer with me. Because I couldn't decide. But looking back at myself for the past 1 year, I saw that I never changed much, though I hold you dearly in my heart, I love myself more. I couldn't give up what I have for you when you did that for me. I am so sorry that I couldn't do that, I am sorry that I am not mature enough to love you, I am sorry that I used up so much of your time and leaving you feeling so sad. I am sorry for everything and I thank you for everything. I sincerely hoped that you will have a bright future and a better life in front of you. I love you.
Sunday, 10 April 2011
Back
So.. I made up my mind to start from the outside.... meaning my appearance....
1. Lose weight.... not for the sake of looking good (though it's a merit) but for the sake of being more healthy and fit...
2. Cut my hair short.... Just because it's easier to dry when it's short... and it's not that hot with short hair.... and that I can donate it to someone who needs it more (look up www.locksoflove.org if u wanna know more...)
Then... Change from the inside....
1. Feel good about my self.... Something that I lack is Confidence.... With that I can do anything.... It comes when a person accepts themselves and think positively about themselves....
2. Positive thinking.... Reduce Negativity..... by doing that I can feel happier and more content about what I have and thus live more happily!!!!
Well.... Hopefully I will be able to do these points that I set for myself in the near future....
P/S: Thanks Tham... I needed the talk and now the blog.... hehe... Love u....
Sunday, 11 April 2010
Just wanted to say.....
Just sent my friends off to the airport just now... they came from hong kong for a holiday, my fren and her boyfren. I doubt that there are anyone else from another country that will come looking for me when they visit Malaysia... It's not that I have not been making any frens, it's just that I never really attached myself to anyone and I don't really spend time to get to know people or let them know me.... maybe that's y i didn't really got to know much people during my uni life.... I did enjoy their stay as I seldom step out of my house before they come since I have no where to go.... did enjoy the fresh air with all the dust and the ache in my leg due to loads of walking and the lack of sleep due to fear that they had to wait for me for if i woke up late.... though i enjoy me solitude time so much... I still love company once in a while..... Oh... just a slight complaint I want to make about my friends is that I felt like a driver fetching them since both of them sat at the back seat while I was driving and there wasn't anyone at the front passenger seat... guess they never thought that I felt like a driver because of that.....
Ever since I came back from uni.... I have chose to listen to english and korean songs rather than mandarin or cantonese ones.....It struck me that my love for chinese music has decrease due to the lack of good singers and songs that would make me sing a long.... while korean songs are being loved due to their music videos and handsome guys, I love english songs due to their funky tunes and sometimes their lyrics which speaks the singer's mind without holding back..... however, there is one mandarin song which I keep playing as i feel the song touch me as the singer did with her voice, the lyrics are good as well.... it has been some time since a song touched me so much....really love it....so....I am introducing it to you all...it's call...劉若英- 我们没有在一起
I would share the song if i know how to... but I don't... too bad then....
Been looking at some photo's lately and saw you in the photo.... seeing your face makes me miss you more than usual.... when will I see you again.... though it's almost impossible to tell you how I feel for you.... I still hope that one day you will learn that the period of time that we spend together will always warm my heart.... thank you for all the memories that you have given me.... I will treasure everyone of them.... Love you..... ( To everyone that came into my life and made it a better one)
Saturday, 12 September 2009
Working....
I got a job in Selangor...working as a QC Executive for microbiology in a company which sells lots of different edible products..... Want to know the fun part of my job.... I get to have an assistant.... who does everything there is need to be done and is currently teaching me what I have to do..... My job is to oversee her work and help her out when there is any failure in the experiments....and to sign any documents given to me..... Cool yeah.... A fresh grad gets an assistant who teaches her what to do.... oh.... Did I mention that I have nothing to do other than see her work and sign.... and hide from my boss so he doesn't see me not working... and acting to be busy when visitors come and visit the QC department of our company..... Oh.... and I have been speaking so much Malay in the four days I worked that I feel shocked about my ability to speak Malay....hehehe...... But, My assistant just got a better job offer and will be leaving next month... so I will at least need to do a few weeks of work to familiarise myself with the job and teach the new assistant when she comes..... I am looking forward to that though... since I love working in the lab...though it makes me stink and my mum keep complaining about the stench that sticked to me after my labwork..... Another cool thing about my job.... every month I need to do air monitoring to make sure the environment is clean enough... which i did just 2 days ago... it was quite simple as the job just requires me to expose the agar plate at certain locations in the production area..... here comes the fun part.... I have to wear a jumpsuit (you know....the suit that mechanics wear...the blue one...just that mine was yellow with thin black strips), gloves, facemask, a cap (something that looks like a shower cap....those disposable ones) and plastic bags as shoes..... I really looked like an idiot in it.... well....I actually did wanted to wear the jumpsuit for quite some time... i mean the mechanic 1.... I thought it would look cool on me.... I remember seeing a guy in it and felt that he look so cool and so handsome..... Now.... I think someone who enjoy wearing it is an idiot..... Oh ya..... I forgot to mention bout my lovely boss... or should i say the QC manager..... He took me out for lunch on my first day of work... so lovely right.... since we only have half an hour of lunch break since it is the puasa month.... my colleague say that they will bring their own lunch.... so the 2nd day.... I brought my own lunch.... My lovely boss was so sad when he heard that since he thought he can eat with me.... pity him... he had to eat alone.... I feel so bad now.... but.... it can't be helped... I don't want to rush out for lunch.... He is really nice and fun... and as old as my brother..... hopefully we can work well together.....
Ok.... will update more bout my work next time when I get more work to do.....and when I feel like to....
I am really hungry now.... waiting for dinner time though it is already almost nine.... Why isn't anyone in my family hungry..... wait.... I forgot that I plan to slim down because I am gaining weight.... and I mean lots of weight.... Arghh... don't want care la... eat as i like la.... Oh ya... and my house is almost finished with the small renovations that has been done... Yay.... no more dusty floor and noisy environment....hehe..... Another thing.... Should I go for Boxing or Dancing lessons.... since i will be free on Saturdays.... I might as well learn something.... My sis will be joining me for the lessons after I enquire about them.... but.... as you know.... I am quite slow and lazy.... so it will not be till next month that I will start classes or maybe just go and enquire...hehe..... Sorry for being so random....hehe.... well... guess it is just part of me..... Just ignore if you don't understand....
I guess I am done for this post... will update as soon as possible.... but knowing me you know it won't be too soon....hehe.... We all know you love me.... so don't be too calculative bout that... till next time... with love.....
Tuesday, 4 August 2009
Currently...Jobless and Studyless....
alright.... off to gaming again.... will blog again soon
Saturday, 11 July 2009
My Lomography
Lomography... well... how should i explain this.... ok... I will do both the formal and informal way... Lomography according to the creators of lomography as written in their webpage (www.lomography.com) is analogue film photography. It consist of cameras that uses film instead of the modern day digital memory card and has 4 main types of camera, namely Holga, Fisheye, LC-A+ and Diana (which I currently own). Each camera has its own specialty which you could learn more from the webpage. Here comes the informal way of introducing it... It is the old type of camera la, use film 1....
I got my very own Diana on my birthday from my bunch of lovely friends here and was instantaneously hooked on to it... well.... Janc kind of have a same one which is why i learn about it so much before i got it.... Mine was a limited-edition, all-white (except for the lens) Diana F+ bearing the name Edelweiss...which comes from the name of a flower... It's beautiful and sexy and all made of plastic... so it is light and durable.... it uses a 120mm film which is quite easy to install... the lens can be changed into fisheye or wideangle... but unfortunately i have not bought since it is a bit expensive.... another thing to mention is the ability for it to capture images using a pinhole.... the effect sounds and looks great though I have not tried it yet since it needs to be placed stably and i have shaky hands.... the pictures i took so far were beautiful when took under the sun and a bit sucky when indoors.... due to lighting conditions.... Oh... the coolest thing about it is the multiple exposure pictures I can take with it.... Multiple exposure meaning take 1 pic and then another and the pics will have a stacking effect... it's really cool...
Introducing Ms Diana Edelweiss

I enjoyed having Ms Diana Edelweiss with me and with her company I will have a lot of memories to keep.... I really am in love with it....
Here are some pics I have taken.... well... I kind of have to scan it into the computer and therefore the quality is a bit bad... and i only have a few pics with me.... so enjoy it...
this is on top of a hill looking down at somewhere in Dorset... Don't ask me where....
Capturing the sunset at Poole...I think it is Poole or somewhere there.... It's a really beautiful sight.... This photo is much better than the digital ones....
Below is my favorite multiple exposure photo.... the guys somewhere in Dorset as well... i took the scenery first before them.... it was really cool when the picture came out... I nearly screamed due to joy...

This is the indoor version of multiple exposure.... you can only do it under bright conditions and TADA..... the effect is mesmerizing..... just love it....
So... After enjoying the pictures... I am guessing you want one for yourself as well don't you...haha.... I am going to love the photos I take and enjoy it.... hope you will too.... Off to sleep now.... love ya all... take care
Tuesday, 7 July 2009
早安你好
a. Put your iTunes, Windows Media Player, etc on shuffle.
b. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.
c. YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME DOWN, NO MATTER HOW SILLY IT SOUNDS.
d. Put any comments in brackets after the song name.
e. Put this on your blog.
1. If someone says, "Is this okay?"
范玮琪/张韶涵-如果的事
(Meaning Things that might happen or maybe…. Maybe…..)
2. How would you describe yourself?
Ah sang- 保管
(It means safekeeping…. Maybe I just like to keep myself safe from everything that I encounter)
3. What do you like in a guy/girl?
陈小春-情瘤感菌
(Well…it kind of mean love sickness…. Maybe I like the person who loves me so much that they feel sick without me around….I sure am popular and lovable….)
4. How do you feel today?
任贤齐-流着泪的你的脸
(Well… I guess my player is quite smart since I am not really in a good mood and kind of cried a bit just a while ago…..the song means your crying face)
5. What is your life's purpose?
JJ-Lin- K.O.
(Err…. Does this means that all I want is to be knocked out or die??.... I don’t really think this is right…)
6. What is your motto?
Jay Chow - 从新爱
(The song literally means start love again….. Does that mean I should get another guy to start love or to fall for my boyfriend again??? Or maybe both…hehe…I prefer the latter..)
7. What do your friends think of you?
刘若英-后来
(Meaning later or in the future….. Well the song has a meaning of once you lose it you will never get it back in the future….. Guess I am really important….Since once my friends lose me they will not find someone like me as their friend….I know you guys love me…thank you so much….)
8. What do you think of your parents?
Eminem-Lose yourself
(OK….my player is really right at this…. I always think my dad should lose himself… as in loosen up and relax and not work and work everyday….and my mum to not lose her temper…hehe)
9. What do you think about very often?
David Tao-自導自演的悲劇
(Well….this means a sad story that I made up myself with me acting in it….. My player is kind of freaking me out…. I really always do that…always thinking of the possible sad stories or worst things that can happen to me…. Really need to stop doing this….)
10. What is 2+2?
周传雄-再出发
(It literally means to start again…. I don’t get it…2+2=to start again???)
11. What do you think of your best friend?
周华健-让我欢喜让我忧
(Well…. this means let me be happy and let me be sad….. maybe it means that I can show my true feelings in front of my best friend or maybe this best friend of mine have a way of making me happy and sad….depends on how I interpret it… but I do hope it is both…that what make our friendship last)
12. What do you think of the person you like?
梁静茹-勇气
(It means courage…. I guess it means that he will have the courage to go through whatever we encounter…)
13. What is your life?
Michael Jackson- Beat it
(Alright…. I will just beat it…and how am I suppose to do that? Just enjoy life?)
14. What do you want to be when you grow up?
Avril Lavigne- Nobody’s home
(WHAT??? Does that mean that there will be nobody at home when I grow up…. Maybe it is hinting that I don’t have a proper family…. Should be because I have a few husbands at the same time….hehehe)
15. What do you think of when you see the person you like?
Ah Sang- 一直很安静
(The title means keeping it quite for always…. Does that mean that I always keep my love for him deep inside and am able to show it????)
16. What will you dance to at your wedding?
孙楠-燃烧
(This means burn…. The song kind of meant that I cannot run away from the person I love…most probably the one I am marrying…because the fire we have is still burning…. Quite a love song ya…. It means that I can never love someone other than him and he to me…..Love my player now….)
17. What will they play at your funeral?
蔡健雅-空白格
(Well…the title literally means empty boxes or should I said an empty space….the lyrics of the song kind of say that I think you love me but we are separated by this empty space….. I think is kind of cool to have this as my funeral song as it says that we are separated)
18. What is your hobby/interest?
Gareth Gates- Any one of us
(Well maybe it means doing anything with any one…..I guess)
19. What is your biggest fear?
Wang Lee Hom-Hey Ho
(OK…. Why would I be scared of Hey Ho….It’s just an expression??!!)
20. What is your biggest secret?
David Tao- My lips are dry
(Why is this my biggest secret….hmmmm…..is it because……)
21. What do you think of your friends?
Siti Nurhaliza- Cindai
(Ok… I really have no idea what is this and went and google it…it is a song from a Malay traditional play which meant traditional malay fabric or vampire….with the first meaning being more accepted…. So does this mean that I think they are fabrics?? WTH!!!)
22. What would you post this as?
S.H.E.-早安你好
(GOOD MORNING EVERYONE and HOPE YOU ARE FINE!!!!)
23. What song would you play during your first time having sex?
KANG TA-추억은 기억보다
(Ok…I googled this as well…it means Reminiscence memory…which is recalling old memories….so does that mean that I will recall old memories when having sex for the first time….but do I have any memories of it at first…weird)
OK....this was just for fun...so don't put too much thought into it and have a laugh when you see something funny...alright...just so that you know how i am right now....below are a few pictures taken....well 5 pictures showing the recent me....in Dorset...somewhere near London on a caravan trip with 5 other guys....which pics are not shown.....(Mum...please dun kill me because of this...they are really nice...so no worries...your daughter is safe...hehehe....) It was really fun as it is quite a relaxed and outdoor-ish trip....I got 3 times darker than I usually am....hehe...
This was taken on the 2nd last day of the trip (04/07/2009).....by myself since I have nothing to do in the car....I am a camwhore now...hehe
This is also at the beach where the Durdle Door is but it is on the other side.... looks beautiful as well....no... I did not photoshop it and yes...the water is really that clear....
Alright...hope you enjoy my current life.... till my next blog.....take care....love you