I totally hate it when people talk too much.... I mean... I get the point, u don't really have to repeat and repeat and repeat the same thing over and over and over again.... It makes me wanna shaft a cloth in your mouth to ask u to shut up..... Since u keep doing this, I will jut have to apply something that I have trying to put into use but failed so many times before..... turning a deaf ear..... It was never really what I could do... I kind of listen to whatever people say and feel the emotions running in me due to the words uttered by the mouth.... and in the end when I can't stand it.... badaboom... I react in a nasty way.... Though today i did just kept my mouth shut.... so it means that I can control my emotions better than I used to be able to.... which should be a good thing.... but, i did rant some of my anger out at the machine I used after meeting with u... 'Mr. I can't stop talking crap that you don't want to listen to'....
I know that I myself talk too much too sometimes without thinking of the consequences of uttering each word I said.... but this is me.... I don't really think twice when I say anything, I know that I hurt you when I do that, but i did say sorry after that..... I hope u all don't mind.....
In need of upgrading myself in these 2 fields....
Mainly.... Not being so emotional when people say things that I don't want to hear, just turn a deaf ear and close one eye and ignore them..... And, not saying things without thinking over the consequences of saying it.... especially when it is supposed to be a secret....
Thursday, 9 June 2011
Wednesday, 27 April 2011
Being the one
By being the one to ask, the fault is on me.... But I need this... I hoped that you don't hate me too much because of it.... I shouldn't have been so harsh on you when I said it, I am so sorry. I wanted us to part without a fight and maybe still be friends in the future.... but I guess I was wrong to think so. I will treasure the memories that you gave me. Thank you for standing by me when I was intolerable and loved me even when I abandoned you. Sorry for having to do this to you. For now, I only feel thankful and sorry when I think about you, no longer the passion that was once there. Sorry for being the one to break your heart.
Monday, 11 April 2011
不想
不想再拖着你了.... 要不是再回到这边我也不会做出这个决定.... 原来我已经拖了你这么久了...
I never knew what I wanted, whatever I did before were normally half-decided by other people. Being so easily influenced by people, I tried so hard not to listen to them and decide what was best for myself. Yet all my answers came back with a question mark or an 'I don't know'. Because of this you had to suffer with me. Because I couldn't decide. But looking back at myself for the past 1 year, I saw that I never changed much, though I hold you dearly in my heart, I love myself more. I couldn't give up what I have for you when you did that for me. I am so sorry that I couldn't do that, I am sorry that I am not mature enough to love you, I am sorry that I used up so much of your time and leaving you feeling so sad. I am sorry for everything and I thank you for everything. I sincerely hoped that you will have a bright future and a better life in front of you. I love you.
I never knew what I wanted, whatever I did before were normally half-decided by other people. Being so easily influenced by people, I tried so hard not to listen to them and decide what was best for myself. Yet all my answers came back with a question mark or an 'I don't know'. Because of this you had to suffer with me. Because I couldn't decide. But looking back at myself for the past 1 year, I saw that I never changed much, though I hold you dearly in my heart, I love myself more. I couldn't give up what I have for you when you did that for me. I am so sorry that I couldn't do that, I am sorry that I am not mature enough to love you, I am sorry that I used up so much of your time and leaving you feeling so sad. I am sorry for everything and I thank you for everything. I sincerely hoped that you will have a bright future and a better life in front of you. I love you.
Sunday, 10 April 2011
Back
Hey guys... I am back from a very long break from 'blogging'... I never thought of updating this place anymore but apparently looking back at this makes me think that I actually wrote quite a lot of stuff that I forgot about.... A year has passed since I last blog and I am still here.... not really jobless... but still without an aim in life.... Why is that??? I have been asking myself the same questions for so long and yet I still don't have a satisfying answer... Maybe I will never know what I want for the rest of my life.... maybe it might come to me the next minute... I really don't know.... the only thing I know is that I need to change myself.... I need to grow up... even though it's just a little...
So.. I made up my mind to start from the outside.... meaning my appearance....
1. Lose weight.... not for the sake of looking good (though it's a merit) but for the sake of being more healthy and fit...
2. Cut my hair short.... Just because it's easier to dry when it's short... and it's not that hot with short hair.... and that I can donate it to someone who needs it more (look up www.locksoflove.org if u wanna know more...)
Then... Change from the inside....
1. Feel good about my self.... Something that I lack is Confidence.... With that I can do anything.... It comes when a person accepts themselves and think positively about themselves....
2. Positive thinking.... Reduce Negativity..... by doing that I can feel happier and more content about what I have and thus live more happily!!!!
Well.... Hopefully I will be able to do these points that I set for myself in the near future....
P/S: Thanks Tham... I needed the talk and now the blog.... hehe... Love u....
So.. I made up my mind to start from the outside.... meaning my appearance....
1. Lose weight.... not for the sake of looking good (though it's a merit) but for the sake of being more healthy and fit...
2. Cut my hair short.... Just because it's easier to dry when it's short... and it's not that hot with short hair.... and that I can donate it to someone who needs it more (look up www.locksoflove.org if u wanna know more...)
Then... Change from the inside....
1. Feel good about my self.... Something that I lack is Confidence.... With that I can do anything.... It comes when a person accepts themselves and think positively about themselves....
2. Positive thinking.... Reduce Negativity..... by doing that I can feel happier and more content about what I have and thus live more happily!!!!
Well.... Hopefully I will be able to do these points that I set for myself in the near future....
P/S: Thanks Tham... I needed the talk and now the blog.... hehe... Love u....
Sunday, 11 April 2010
Just wanted to say.....
Been very free lately without my job.... was just staying home eating, sleeping and putting on loads of weights..... watching drama is one of my favorite past times nowadays since i have nothing better to do.... been thinking a lot since i stopped working.... should I continue studying or not??? or is working a better thing to do.... should i just continue to waste my time like that or maybe do something that is more useful.... What's my aim in life, what do I have passion in?? these questions have been bugging me for quite some time... guess I still can't answer them right now.... when the time comes... I am sure I will make the choice that is most suitable to me.....
Just sent my friends off to the airport just now... they came from hong kong for a holiday, my fren and her boyfren. I doubt that there are anyone else from another country that will come looking for me when they visit Malaysia... It's not that I have not been making any frens, it's just that I never really attached myself to anyone and I don't really spend time to get to know people or let them know me.... maybe that's y i didn't really got to know much people during my uni life.... I did enjoy their stay as I seldom step out of my house before they come since I have no where to go.... did enjoy the fresh air with all the dust and the ache in my leg due to loads of walking and the lack of sleep due to fear that they had to wait for me for if i woke up late.... though i enjoy me solitude time so much... I still love company once in a while..... Oh... just a slight complaint I want to make about my friends is that I felt like a driver fetching them since both of them sat at the back seat while I was driving and there wasn't anyone at the front passenger seat... guess they never thought that I felt like a driver because of that.....
Ever since I came back from uni.... I have chose to listen to english and korean songs rather than mandarin or cantonese ones.....It struck me that my love for chinese music has decrease due to the lack of good singers and songs that would make me sing a long.... while korean songs are being loved due to their music videos and handsome guys, I love english songs due to their funky tunes and sometimes their lyrics which speaks the singer's mind without holding back..... however, there is one mandarin song which I keep playing as i feel the song touch me as the singer did with her voice, the lyrics are good as well.... it has been some time since a song touched me so much....really love it....so....I am introducing it to you all...it's call...劉若英- 我们没有在一起
I would share the song if i know how to... but I don't... too bad then....
Been looking at some photo's lately and saw you in the photo.... seeing your face makes me miss you more than usual.... when will I see you again.... though it's almost impossible to tell you how I feel for you.... I still hope that one day you will learn that the period of time that we spend together will always warm my heart.... thank you for all the memories that you have given me.... I will treasure everyone of them.... Love you..... ( To everyone that came into my life and made it a better one)
Just sent my friends off to the airport just now... they came from hong kong for a holiday, my fren and her boyfren. I doubt that there are anyone else from another country that will come looking for me when they visit Malaysia... It's not that I have not been making any frens, it's just that I never really attached myself to anyone and I don't really spend time to get to know people or let them know me.... maybe that's y i didn't really got to know much people during my uni life.... I did enjoy their stay as I seldom step out of my house before they come since I have no where to go.... did enjoy the fresh air with all the dust and the ache in my leg due to loads of walking and the lack of sleep due to fear that they had to wait for me for if i woke up late.... though i enjoy me solitude time so much... I still love company once in a while..... Oh... just a slight complaint I want to make about my friends is that I felt like a driver fetching them since both of them sat at the back seat while I was driving and there wasn't anyone at the front passenger seat... guess they never thought that I felt like a driver because of that.....
Ever since I came back from uni.... I have chose to listen to english and korean songs rather than mandarin or cantonese ones.....It struck me that my love for chinese music has decrease due to the lack of good singers and songs that would make me sing a long.... while korean songs are being loved due to their music videos and handsome guys, I love english songs due to their funky tunes and sometimes their lyrics which speaks the singer's mind without holding back..... however, there is one mandarin song which I keep playing as i feel the song touch me as the singer did with her voice, the lyrics are good as well.... it has been some time since a song touched me so much....really love it....so....I am introducing it to you all...it's call...劉若英- 我们没有在一起
I would share the song if i know how to... but I don't... too bad then....
Been looking at some photo's lately and saw you in the photo.... seeing your face makes me miss you more than usual.... when will I see you again.... though it's almost impossible to tell you how I feel for you.... I still hope that one day you will learn that the period of time that we spend together will always warm my heart.... thank you for all the memories that you have given me.... I will treasure everyone of them.... Love you..... ( To everyone that came into my life and made it a better one)
Saturday, 12 September 2009
Working....
Dear all... Sorry for not posting anything new after so long..... Alright... updates bout me and my life.....
I got a job in Selangor...working as a QC Executive for microbiology in a company which sells lots of different edible products..... Want to know the fun part of my job.... I get to have an assistant.... who does everything there is need to be done and is currently teaching me what I have to do..... My job is to oversee her work and help her out when there is any failure in the experiments....and to sign any documents given to me..... Cool yeah.... A fresh grad gets an assistant who teaches her what to do.... oh.... Did I mention that I have nothing to do other than see her work and sign.... and hide from my boss so he doesn't see me not working... and acting to be busy when visitors come and visit the QC department of our company..... Oh.... and I have been speaking so much Malay in the four days I worked that I feel shocked about my ability to speak Malay....hehehe...... But, My assistant just got a better job offer and will be leaving next month... so I will at least need to do a few weeks of work to familiarise myself with the job and teach the new assistant when she comes..... I am looking forward to that though... since I love working in the lab...though it makes me stink and my mum keep complaining about the stench that sticked to me after my labwork..... Another cool thing about my job.... every month I need to do air monitoring to make sure the environment is clean enough... which i did just 2 days ago... it was quite simple as the job just requires me to expose the agar plate at certain locations in the production area..... here comes the fun part.... I have to wear a jumpsuit (you know....the suit that mechanics wear...the blue one...just that mine was yellow with thin black strips), gloves, facemask, a cap (something that looks like a shower cap....those disposable ones) and plastic bags as shoes..... I really looked like an idiot in it.... well....I actually did wanted to wear the jumpsuit for quite some time... i mean the mechanic 1.... I thought it would look cool on me.... I remember seeing a guy in it and felt that he look so cool and so handsome..... Now.... I think someone who enjoy wearing it is an idiot..... Oh ya..... I forgot to mention bout my lovely boss... or should i say the QC manager..... He took me out for lunch on my first day of work... so lovely right.... since we only have half an hour of lunch break since it is the puasa month.... my colleague say that they will bring their own lunch.... so the 2nd day.... I brought my own lunch.... My lovely boss was so sad when he heard that since he thought he can eat with me.... pity him... he had to eat alone.... I feel so bad now.... but.... it can't be helped... I don't want to rush out for lunch.... He is really nice and fun... and as old as my brother..... hopefully we can work well together.....
Ok.... will update more bout my work next time when I get more work to do.....and when I feel like to....
I am really hungry now.... waiting for dinner time though it is already almost nine.... Why isn't anyone in my family hungry..... wait.... I forgot that I plan to slim down because I am gaining weight.... and I mean lots of weight.... Arghh... don't want care la... eat as i like la.... Oh ya... and my house is almost finished with the small renovations that has been done... Yay.... no more dusty floor and noisy environment....hehe..... Another thing.... Should I go for Boxing or Dancing lessons.... since i will be free on Saturdays.... I might as well learn something.... My sis will be joining me for the lessons after I enquire about them.... but.... as you know.... I am quite slow and lazy.... so it will not be till next month that I will start classes or maybe just go and enquire...hehe..... Sorry for being so random....hehe.... well... guess it is just part of me..... Just ignore if you don't understand....
I guess I am done for this post... will update as soon as possible.... but knowing me you know it won't be too soon....hehe.... We all know you love me.... so don't be too calculative bout that... till next time... with love.....
I got a job in Selangor...working as a QC Executive for microbiology in a company which sells lots of different edible products..... Want to know the fun part of my job.... I get to have an assistant.... who does everything there is need to be done and is currently teaching me what I have to do..... My job is to oversee her work and help her out when there is any failure in the experiments....and to sign any documents given to me..... Cool yeah.... A fresh grad gets an assistant who teaches her what to do.... oh.... Did I mention that I have nothing to do other than see her work and sign.... and hide from my boss so he doesn't see me not working... and acting to be busy when visitors come and visit the QC department of our company..... Oh.... and I have been speaking so much Malay in the four days I worked that I feel shocked about my ability to speak Malay....hehehe...... But, My assistant just got a better job offer and will be leaving next month... so I will at least need to do a few weeks of work to familiarise myself with the job and teach the new assistant when she comes..... I am looking forward to that though... since I love working in the lab...though it makes me stink and my mum keep complaining about the stench that sticked to me after my labwork..... Another cool thing about my job.... every month I need to do air monitoring to make sure the environment is clean enough... which i did just 2 days ago... it was quite simple as the job just requires me to expose the agar plate at certain locations in the production area..... here comes the fun part.... I have to wear a jumpsuit (you know....the suit that mechanics wear...the blue one...just that mine was yellow with thin black strips), gloves, facemask, a cap (something that looks like a shower cap....those disposable ones) and plastic bags as shoes..... I really looked like an idiot in it.... well....I actually did wanted to wear the jumpsuit for quite some time... i mean the mechanic 1.... I thought it would look cool on me.... I remember seeing a guy in it and felt that he look so cool and so handsome..... Now.... I think someone who enjoy wearing it is an idiot..... Oh ya..... I forgot to mention bout my lovely boss... or should i say the QC manager..... He took me out for lunch on my first day of work... so lovely right.... since we only have half an hour of lunch break since it is the puasa month.... my colleague say that they will bring their own lunch.... so the 2nd day.... I brought my own lunch.... My lovely boss was so sad when he heard that since he thought he can eat with me.... pity him... he had to eat alone.... I feel so bad now.... but.... it can't be helped... I don't want to rush out for lunch.... He is really nice and fun... and as old as my brother..... hopefully we can work well together.....
Ok.... will update more bout my work next time when I get more work to do.....and when I feel like to....
I am really hungry now.... waiting for dinner time though it is already almost nine.... Why isn't anyone in my family hungry..... wait.... I forgot that I plan to slim down because I am gaining weight.... and I mean lots of weight.... Arghh... don't want care la... eat as i like la.... Oh ya... and my house is almost finished with the small renovations that has been done... Yay.... no more dusty floor and noisy environment....hehe..... Another thing.... Should I go for Boxing or Dancing lessons.... since i will be free on Saturdays.... I might as well learn something.... My sis will be joining me for the lessons after I enquire about them.... but.... as you know.... I am quite slow and lazy.... so it will not be till next month that I will start classes or maybe just go and enquire...hehe..... Sorry for being so random....hehe.... well... guess it is just part of me..... Just ignore if you don't understand....
I guess I am done for this post... will update as soon as possible.... but knowing me you know it won't be too soon....hehe.... We all know you love me.... so don't be too calculative bout that... till next time... with love.....
Tuesday, 4 August 2009
Currently...Jobless and Studyless....
Ok.... an update about me... well.... Just came back to Malaysia on the 29/07/09... and started looking for a job.... well. I kind of applied for 4 on the jobstreet and none replied me... and according to the record, I have been declined by 3 of the companies.... Am I really that unqualified for jobs? And so.... I currently have nothing to do.... been staying at home most of the time..... checked out some phD stuff.... but i really think that they aren't going to accept me since I have no experience.... Maybe I should have done another degree.... or a masters before I came back.... Hmmmm.... i want to spent my time lazing around.... and study is so much of a lazing around activity..hehe.... So.... conclusion is I am not studying now nor am i being employed.... which is really sad.... but.... I can enjoy my lovely home which is currently renovating and therefore is super dusty and way to noisy for anyone to stay in..... well.... guess I have to stick to it for the time being..... how sad....
alright.... off to gaming again.... will blog again soon
alright.... off to gaming again.... will blog again soon
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
