Happy or not....???

I feel that I am facing a time where uncertainty overwhelms me whenever it can. I have been doubting almost everything that is true in my life now.... When I am happy.... I doubt that I am really that happy.... Why is this so.... Maybe I am just too tired and sick of my current life.... I feel that I am not satisfied with what I have now and dream that I have more and believe that I can achieve more.... I need change in my life and therefore I am going to change.....
I changed my hairstyle.... i mean from one side to the other..... I dyed my hair.... with karen's help.... and the color still looks black..... should get another color.... I want to change the way I dress... but the wind in Newcastle will not allow it because it is still freaking cold outside.... I want to be different....
oh ya.... I started to do things without planning.... like.... going down to Leeds/Bradford last saturday.... I just decided to go in the morning and ask yishan and sharon and karen... and then we all went.... wat a bunch of crazy girls right.... it was fun, dull, exiciting and tiring at the same time.... My secret lover...hehe....just joking.... friend in Bradford, Chong Yit.... scared Sharon till death when he said.... Sharon so cute a... I like.... hehe..... guess he is really into her.... well the other guys in Bradford (Hansen and Theng Hao) also seem interested in her....bet they are just waiting for a single girl to come along....hehehe..... desperate engineering guys.....
having problems with a lot of things now..... emotionally, mentally, physically and anything-ally... hehe.... I have this feeling that no one will understand this post of mind since I am being so random here..... I dunno.... I am just typing anything that comes into my mind.... welll... not everything.... since I have a lot of secrets.... haha.... like my secret lovers and secret admirers and secret stuffs....
OMG.... I can't even understand myself now..... headache coming already.... I need my mum.... I need to talk to her..... bout anything at all..... I guess it is because i don't have a person to tell everything when I reach home that I am feeling so random now.... cause back in M'sia I normally tell my mum everything once I reach home from school or work..... Now.... I can only talk to Muachi, Scrapy and Yuan yuan(My dolls... if u din noe...) which will never give me a answer.... unless i imitate their voice and talk to myself... which is something I regard as RETARDED and I still do.... this make me sound like I am always talking to myself..... which I guess I am always doing....
alright.... I am feeling hungry and I have class in another 30 minutes..... i need to eat.... or should I.... I am a bit fat.... well.... a little more maybe..... fine.... I am fat..... and I opt to eat.... I won't want to die of hunger..... maybe I should get a purple dye from Superdrugs or Boots later..... or maybe Blonde.... which is so not me..... alright.... really think i need to go before i flood this post with other more random thoughts....
oh ya.... I am planning to watch the musical Chicago in Bradford... that is a so must see.... guess I will be quite busy..... hopefully you are not freaking out because of this post..... just ignore it if you are in quite some shit yourself as this will definitely make it worst....
hmmm.... I was debating whether to mention this but I just can't see why not since my bf does not read my blog..... I feel that I will never be satisfied with only one man in my whole life.... so.... I am planning on getting a second bf..... hehe....behind his back.... or maybe more.... who knows... Any candidates?....hehe..... should I stop now cause my tummy is growling for food.....
guess I should..... take care to those who read my blog.... I am sure you will be as confuse as I am.... and mayb u might develop a headache which I am having now..... and uncomfortable arms and shoulders... due to long term typing... oh...that should be me only.....Alright... i am officially out of my mind now..... bye bye.....

A new year

Good bye 2008 and hello 2009.... this year will be different from the last.... I hope is for the better....
I feel different this year... tired and old.... I don't even feel like doing anything. I mean... I can understand if I don't want to study, but I don't want to leave bed or even eat.... that is so not me.... another 2 more days to my exam and i still have not read anything... I guess i really am in deep shit... I feel that I lost my meaning of staying here and study... I don't know what I want at this point of life... I feel lost... very lost.... yet it is still clear that what I should do is study and graduate with an acceptable result... all I can say now is that I lost the meaning of doing whatever I do everyday and whatever I am trying to achieve... yet i know i need to achieve it... though this knowing cannot motivate me to do anything... I think it is time for me to take a break.... after my exams... I think I should leave everything for a while and do something out of the ordinary.... take a break out of my normal life... I think I should.... it's too tired for me here.... at least this is what I feel now..... I need change.... and that is what I will do....

Random Thought....

Me again... your lovely friend, family, enemy etc..... I am just going to blog about some thoughts today.... just random thoughts....
Random Thought 1
I want to leave Newcastle and go back to Malaysia for the winter and for the Penang Asam Laksa.
Random Thought 2
I want to stop studying because I am tired of it and because I am sick of doing assignments and learning things which I will not be using in the future.
Random Thought 3
I want to have a better life with better food, drinks, heaters in the library, handsome guys with six packs for me to look at, beautiful girls who have perfect personalities and definitely a private jet or sport car.
Random Thought 4
I want a boyfriend who does not call me when I am writing my blog.
Have to go now..... my phone just rang.... will continue some other time....oh ya... sorry for the formal format... too much assignment to do... so I wrote according to assignment formats... hehe....

after a month....

After a month of not blogging.... I decided to write again.... but about what??? I really don't know.... I have been normal for the past month except for hotpot 2 days ago, and swimming a week ago and snowing this morning... wat else?? I don't know.... As you all know, I am a fairly lazy person... i mean... i am too lazy to think of what to write as well as what to communicate with people... that is why most of you have not heard from me for ages... anyway.... u did not take the initiative to call me too.... so we are even.... I am freezing now.... since it snowed and rained today plus wind and temperatures less than 5 degrees Celsius.... I don't think anyone will think it is hot.... unless they are with their lovely heater..... ok.... i think i will stop writing here.... really too lazy.... sorry guys...

Me.... Again....

It's me again... your lovely friend....or family.... or cousin.... or enemy (hope not)... or stranger.... Well, who else would it be since this is like my blog..... Just to update people about me so I wouldn't be lost in their memories, I am going to sacrifice my series-watching time to update my blog.... it's not that I planned or scheduled my time... it's just that that is practically the only thing i do at night... besides eating n sleeping and... u know... 'toileting'...
Alright... so about me... recently... So our lovely Wee Hong (Intians should know)... currently studying in Sunderland... came over last Friday night for dinner n slept over... we had bak kut teh... and really good special recipe rice made by the well-known always-forgets-to-put-something-when-cooking Zia Yen... that was a shock for many of us... a tiny shock... we had fun... n then Wee Hong slept over.... along with Zia Yen and Yi Shan.... pity me... I got to cramp in my own Double bed with another 2 girls.... It was a relieve that it was only for a night... the next morning... we set off for Durham... One of the main Attractions in North East UK... one of the nearest place to Newcastle and yup.. one of the place that I did not visit even though I have been so near to it for 1 year.... The main things in Durham is like their cathedral, now-turned-University Castle, some museums and indoor market.... The cathedral was just like any ordinary cathedral in the UK... old...spiritual...and expensive.... expensive in the sense that we have to pay to look at the most attracting site in the building... Imagine that you have to pay to see the view of Durham from the cathedral, see the treasure of St. Chubert which you don't even know who is he and to see the ex-monk's dormitory.... I mean if you ask me to pay 3 pounds to see everything, I wouldn't really mind... but u want me to pay 3 different people 3 different amount of money to see 3 different kind of things in ONE cathedral... I don't think so... Next was the castle... the Durham university is using a large portion of it now but there are still attractions... however.. the arrogant brits kind of set a time for the tour of the castle... which is 2, 3 n 4 pm... n the tickets were sold out... So i did not get to set foot in any part of the castle which still belongs to the caslte.... but it's alright... I don't really mind... among the 100 over (approx 107) people who went there, I think my group of people are like the only ones that made it to the botanic garden owned by the yes... Durham University... Practically everything there is theirs... well... the place is like 1 km from the city center.. and we had to pass by around 5 different colleges to reach there... I am not joking... I have a feeling that Durham is the city of College and Uni... but... the walk was worth it... since I can boast about it and others can't... there wasn't much to see there since it is near autumn... but one thing I must comment on is their cactus garden which is nothing compared to the Cactus Valley in Cameron Highlands... I am thus proud of Malaysia... Neway... I didn't get to see much there since I was there with my uni... we had limited time... The trip was not that entertaining yet still fun....

I will post some pics... If I am not lazy next time and when I get my hands on the video I promised last blog.... oh ya... Just so you all know... my landlord finally asked someone to fix the door... my flat's front door... since we really had a hard time opening n closing it previously... and let's just hope that he will provide us with a new cooker n hopefully a fridge too as he promised....

I got to go now... my series is really waiting for me... Oh ya... and My lovely THAM THAM... It's not that I don't want to get a chat box... It's just that I don't know where to get it (I am half computer literate...) and that I feel that you wouldn't see me write anything there for a long time due to laziness... so.... just forget about it please... Leave a comment whenever you want.... OK... Back to series... take care... till next time... tata

Me...Now...

I know you all missed me a lot... and I really mean a lot .... because I am like the most wonderful person you all have met... with my cute face, bubbly attitude and sexy demeanor... WAHAHAHA... Just joking.... It's cause I miss a lot of you... especially u... Mozarella Ham Naan... oh sorry... I mean you, my friend...hehehe

ok... this should be about me... I feel that I am growing again... and I don't mean growing fat... I mean growing more mature in the way I think... this is because... i just found out that I planned my money quite welll... though it is still not as good... but at least it is a start... I mean... I actually know how much I will be left with if i pay all my school fees n rent... though I still don't know bout the cost of the utilities... I got around...1000 pounds left for the year to eat, drink, party, travel and everything else... Oh shit... MUM... I need the S with the Straight line through it...$... hehe... but not so soon though...

Oh ya... speaking about party... My flatmate had a House party yesterday... House party as in just the 6 people staying in this particular flat... and 2 other bfs of the people...not including mine... drinking a bit of homemade drinks...yup..it is alcoholic... and chit-chatting... though we chose to go out around 1130 pm... went to Jukebox... it is one of the rooms in Digital (according to Madara...it has 4 rooms n Jukebox is one of them...)... I will introduce my housemates later when I have their pics... We had fun there... the music was much more local (more to the brits liking...) though there was this weird bald guy.... which kept sticking to the 8 oops... 9 of us.... look at what I emphasized.... Bald n WEIRD... I mean it literally... he is really bald and really weird.... He kept sticking to us though we ignored him... And he came over to ask me a question that really pissed me off.... I really wanted to scream F*** OFF (Sorry MUM n DAD)....... Guess what he asked... NO.. NO... NO..... It wouldn't be that bad if he asked me if I would like to dance with him... But he asked me If I needed ENGLISH LESSONS..... yup... ENGLISH lessons.... What... Do I look that Un-educated??? Do I look that stupid???? I told him that I speak perfect english and don't need it... guess what... he asked me ARE YOU SURE?? I really felt like slapping him.... gosh... I should have.... Grrrrrr..... fine... I will just ignore him.... No more clubbing for me... it's really tiring.... We got home around quarter passed 3 in the morning and I slept till 8am... I wanted to sleep more... but i just couldn't... must be the exercise....

Anyway... Around 11.30am... I went out to my Uni to join the Fun Day event... It was the battle between schools (as in.. School of Applied Sciences, Business School..etc..) However... I felt like I was in primary school.... The games were like old school games.... such as the egg on spoon, 3-legged-race, tug-o-war, wheelbarrow (the one where someone holds the other person legs and the other person walks with his hands) and the sack race.... Our school were made up of all girls... when it was the tug-o-war... It really killed us... it was so hard.... the guys were like twice our size and we only get to add 1 person... sob sob...so unfair... though we won 1 out of 3 games.... I don't even know how.... I think the hardest game was the sack race since the sack was like so small... I don't remember it being that small when I was in primary school.... really... I fell a few times just jumping in it... and to think I actually am good at it in primary school.... oh oh... before I forget... We also had this special session where we can play 2 other games which the school prepared for us... It was SUMO wrestling and another where we are tied to a 'springy' rope which will pull us back if we are too far from the starting point and that we had to stick the small cushion further than the opponent... when I get the picture, I will post it and you will understand... Sumo wrestling was really fun... We got to wear the sumo suit where they pump air into it so we were as big as a sumo wrestler and then we have to fight our opponent... Karen and Yi Shan were first... They were like sticking to each other and pushing each other around... Next was me and Jien.... we were like scary.... I mean really... Wait for the video... I will get it... I promise... though I don't really know how to put it online.... We were like enemies fighting compared to the friendly match between Karen and Yishan... I mean like... Manchester and Arsenal... we put up a good fight... or should I say US and Iraq??... though not as scary... hehe.... I really had a lot of fun....

Then... When we came back from the games... we met up with the SUNDERLANDERS... I mean those from Inti that chose Sunderland Uni over Northumbria for biotechnology... You know who you are... (Please... Northumbria is like way better though Newcastle might be the best...) We just walked around together for a while and they had to head back to sunderland...its only a 40 minute metro(subway) ride... though Wee Hong stayed back to have dinner with us in Nandos... then we went to the Tyne River...where the famous Millenium Bridge is... then we head for home... And now... though tired and sleepy after all the excitement... I am still up writing this... so please appreciate this....
Ok... I really got to sleep... another bright day tomorrow... Let's hope everything is fine and fun...

My long lost blog

OKOK... I admit that I am truly a very lazy person... I did not even bother to look at my blog for at least 3 months already... so... don't even expect me to write anything.... I will update my blog when i am in the mood to do it...

For those who are still not sure about where I am now... I am in UK... address... 9, Stratford Road.... somewhere in Newcastle.... I will post a picture of my unique room in time to come... so just wait... for now... I am still looking for a part-time job in Newcastle.... Maybe it's because I am very choosey (No Bar job, No Chinatown Job...) that I can't find a job eventhough I sent out approximately 5 or 6 resumes....
I can't work in a bar...though I don't really mind the job(the tipping is great... according to my bf's ex-housemate's ex-girlfriend..yup, they broke-up.., u can get tips of 40 pounds and above just for 1 night....)... I mind the working hours.... it is normally till late night... like 2am...(mum will kill me.. dad will be worried and I will be deprived of sleep)...
I can't work in Chinatown.... I don't like the owners of the shops there... They are so full of themselves and the wage is like lower than anywhere else.... (5 pounds an hour!!!!... it does not even meet the National Minimun Wage... though it fits if u r under 22...) anyway... u will feel that working anywhere else will earn u more respect from your boss, more wage and less work... I will NEVER...NEVER.... work there.....

Ok... Let's just hope I get a job now...hehe... need money to buy a lot of things....

Oh ya... For those coming to the UK... welcome..welcome.... Hope to meet you soon... For those in Malaysia... Thanks for missing me... I miss you all too... I will be updating on something else sooner.... or mayb when I am bored.... hehe...